Seriously?

Today on my lunch break I ventured out to pick up a birthday card for my sister Nichole. I was out of the office for less than 15 minutes, and during that time I...

• Was shoved out of the way by a homeless man attempting to reuse a bus transfer ticket
• Watched someone pick up a piece of chocolate off the floor and eat it
• Witnessed a man being arrested and dragged forcefully through the isles of Walgreens

Downtown Seattle is obviously a junk show. So, when I returned to my desk I felt the need to unwind before getting back to work. But alas, it seemed that the rest of the world had gone crazy as well. The following headlines glared at me from The Seattle Times Web site: “Astronaut in love triangle charged with attempted murder.” Oh wow. I’m serious. AP story updated at 12:21 p.m.

Apparently, a NASA astronaut has been accused of trying to kidnap a romantic rival for a space shuttle pilot’s affections, and was charged with attempted first-degree murder today. This was due to a new steel mallet, knife, rubber tubing and large garbage bags that Orlando police found in the woman’s possession. Police said she drove 900 miles, donned a disguise and was armed with a BB gun and pepper spray when she confronted a woman she believed was a competitor for the affections of an unmarried fellow astronaut. Apparently, the two had previously had “more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship.”

The best part? The woman raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers in the car so she wouldn’t have to stop and go to the bathroom. Astronauts apparently wear diapers during launch and re-entry. And with our talented astronauts cleverly taking these kinds of highly trained techniques and applying them to civilian life, are people really worried about the demise of America’s space program? We’ve obviously got some real thinkers on our hands here. And according to the article, no rules exist against fraternizing among astronauts. So does anyone really see a problem here? I mean we’ve all been known to explore sexual fantasies involving defecation and $600 worth of garbage bags, right? OK, creepy.

OK, I am off to read about “A Kirkland café with no prices,” about a coffee shop where people pay (or don’t pay) what they like. I’m telling you guys… the world’s gone CRAZY!