Brains or Brawn?

Feeling bummed out about the cancellation of our book club Tuesday night, Jeanna and I decided to finally check out the Sitting Room in lower Queen Anne. The place was pretty sweet – cool atmosphere, not too crowded, with a nice little patio out front. That’s where we parked ourselves and promptly ordered Cucumber Martinis, which were just scrumptious. Since Shannon and Jenny live right around the corner, they came and joined us for a while and we indulged ourselves in a few more drinks.

A while later and slightly more tipsy then I would generally like to be on a Tuesday evening, I let Jeanna convince me that going around the corner to Pesos to meet up with some friends would be a fabulous idea. Upon entering the bar, I realized she had made a very good call… the bar was literally swarming with beautiful people, men in particular. Good eye candy always makes for an entertaining evening.

On the prowl to score some free drinks, Jeanna and I strategically located ourselves near a group of very good looking, well dressed men by the bar. In less than five minutes, we were being beckoned over. Score. However, the two particular guys we had our eyes on immediately vacated the premises to flirt with some other random chicks, leaving Jeanna and I to entertain their older, less attractive, Vin Diesel look alike friend. The rules of etiquette dictate that if a girl accepts a free drink, she then becomes obligated to spend the time it takes to consume that cocktail talking to the person who bought it for her. This can be either a good… or a bad thing.

However, Vin Diesel didn’t seem to want anything more than polite conversation, and a few minutes later he left with another buddy. Jeanna and I took the chance to head outside, and to our delight we were followed by Vin’s hot friend we had noticed before! Thrilled we had caught his attention we turned up the volume in preparation for what we hoped would be a great conversation. I mean, a man that pretty has to have something captivating to say, right? He tall and wearing fabulous jeans, had great hair and a killer smile. I was immediately mesmerized. Until…

He informed us that his name was Adam. After the usual, “Do you come here often?” chitchat, one of us made the mistake of asking Adam what he does for a living. He immediately admitted (with not even a shred of embarrassment) that he was a college drop out. Strike one. More importantly he informed us that he works selling cell phones at malls. Strike two. I began to think. Could I really get over the fact that this guy is uneducated and takes pride in a job which a particularly loathe? I tried to think positively; I mean, he was drop dead gorgeous, and who was I to judge? At least he had a job…

While I was working all this out in my head, I realized that Adam was still talking, telling some story about a guy he met in the mall, tried to sell a phone to, and then went on in an attempt to recruit the guy into cell phone sales. The story went on… and on… and on. I tried to smile and act interested, but I don’t think Adam really cared. He was too in love with the sound of his own voice. I glanced sideways at Jeanna, who was already well into her second cigarette. Was this guy serious? At last, he paused for breath.

“So what’s the punch line?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Adam said, looking confused.
“Well, after a long story like that, I was expecting a pretty exciting ending,” I explained. “Were you able to recruit the guy?”
“Oh!” Adam said. “Well… no.”

And he was serious. Jeanna and I had just spent the last 15 minutes listening to a beautiful man tell a story about nothing, for absolutely no reason. To put it quite frankly, we were baffled that a man so gorgeous could be quite so boring, ignorant and selfish. Have my standards changed or something? Because for the next 20 minutes, all I wanted to do was shake this guy. His attempts to buy me drinks and hold my hand were nothing less than annoying. Finally, Jeanna and I just had to make a break for it, and literally ran out of the bar and around the corner.

Today I feel slightly confused and dejected about the available men out there. Am I going to be forced to choose between brains or brawn? Is there no such thing as a guy who is just as intelligent and witty as he is attractive? If not, that’s going to be a hard reality to face. Because as spoiled and selfish as it may seem, I want the whole package. I want a man whose intellect and sense of humor gets me just as hot as his smile and body. But after last night, I worry that finding this guy may be quite a long shot.

I will say one thing though… if it comes down to it, I would rather be single than waste my time with a man who lacks intelligence, perception and common sense – no matter how hot he is.