Near Death Experience

I feel it only fair to my readers that I admit to the one small letdown of my Labor Day weekend trip. Yes folks, Kelly and I were almost decapitated by a semi truck. After driving for what seemed like a million years, we met up with Jeanna at Vantage. She had conveniently borrowed some massive Hummer-like truck thing from a random new friend who was currently occupied at the Dave Matthews Band concert. With Jeanna following behind, Kelly and I led the way down a dark, winding highway. Unfortunately, we soon realized we had missed the turn, and pulled over to the side of the road. Jeanna pulled up behind us in the Beast, and its blinding headlights suggested we were about to be abducted by aliens.

Thinking the coast was clear to flip a bitch, Kelly gunned it and yanked the wheel. Dazed by the dazzling lights behind her, it was too late before she saw the semi truck barreling toward her little Kia Rio at more than 60 mph. I was overcome with the sensation of being in a movie, and as I saw those two headlights less than 10 yards from the car, I was certain I was going to die. I’m still thanking God that the driver was paying attention, because as suddenly as the headlights were coming at us, they swerved, and the air filled with the smell of burning rubber, and the sound of the semi truck screeching along the guardrail on the opposite side of the road. Then Kelly’s headlights focused on the semi’s trailer, which had jackknifed, and was careening toward us. We could only stare and hope that it would be a quick death. I could hardly believe it when the trailer missed Kelly’s bumper by almost two feet.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the driver of that semi truck shit his pants. Frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t jump right out of his truck to yank Kelly out of the car and beat her senseless for almost killing us all. But by the time Kelly and I had finished having hysterical fits, we looked back and the semi was gone, almost as if they whole thing had been a dream. Jeanna assured us that it had not, and explained that had we died, it would have been much worse for her. I mean really, we would have perished in a quick and painless death, while Jeanna would have had to spend the rest of her life reliving watching her friends die in a pile of twisted metal and burning rubber.

I honestly have a newfound respect for life, and how quickly it can end. I’m thankful to be alive.