Attention Whore

My cat is driving me completely bananas. And I hate bananas. Even as I write this, Jasmine and I are fighting about whether I can sit in peace on my couch and write this blog, or whether she gets to lie across the keyboard, where she is more likely to convince me to pet her. Or I could just pick her up and throw her across the room.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my cat. I’ve had her since college, and she’s always been strictly inside-only, which means when I’m home, we spend a lot of time together. A LOT. I’ve never seen a cat so desperate for human company before. At this point, I’m almost considering getting another one, just so Jasmine will have someone besides me to entertain her. I think the first mistake was bringing her to my parent’s house when I moved home for a few months after college. While I went to work every day, my dad (whose office is at home) spent the entire day with Jazzy. He let her sit on his lap, talked to her, pet her, and even taught her to fetch. (Seriously)

Anyway, I think Jasmine got way too used to all this attention. What ever happened to cats being lazy, selfish, bitches that were content to sit by themselves on a windowsill? Not my cat. I get no sleep anymore. I tried locking her out of my bedroom at night, but it was just no use. She cries and claws at the door the entire night trying to get in, and I still get no sleep. She’s only content when she gets to sleep on my bed. Which would be fine. However, Jasmine and I spend the entire night in constant battle. I don’t like her sleeping on the sheets. She is only totally content when she’s asleep ON my pillow, and basically on my face. It seems like every single time I roll over at night, I wake up and have to throw my cat back down to the foot of the bed. It’s exhausting.

And then I get up in the morning. She has somehow learned that showering means I’m getting ready to go somewhere. And this does not make little Jazzy happy. She spends each and every morning sitting on my bathmat until I get out of the shower. Then I spend the next half hour trying to dodge her claws as she bats at my ankles while I try to get dressed, put on makeup, dry my hair, etc. She meows pitifully the whole time. Then I get home from work. The second I sit down, Jasmine wants to be in my lap. And there she stays, for the entirety of the evening. Which would be really cute, except my cat is not small. She’s actually quite fat. And after about a half hour of cuddling, my legs start to fall asleep. So I push her off. 15 seconds later, she jumps back up. I push her off again. 20 seconds later, up again. Another shove. For the next 2 minutes, she sits staring at me, lashing her tail back and forth, tensed to jump up as soon as I’m not paying attention. Finally, I just give up the battle.

What is the deal with this cat?!? Are all cats so starved for attention, or is it just mine? Should I get another one, or would that only make the problem twice as annoying? I mean, it’s nice to feel appreciated and loved, but this is getting a little out of control. Maybe I just need to be a little more understanding. I mean, Jasmine does spend 10-12 hours a day completely alone. Do animals require the same amount of interactions as humans do, or else they run the risk of becoming depressed? Who knows? The point is, I’m going freaking crazy, and if I don’t get a good night’s sleep sometime soon, there is going to be a new posting in the free pets section of Craigslist.