Wednesday, April 21, 2010

On Marriage...

My parents celebrate their 31st wedding anniversary today. Now that’s an accomplishment to be proud of, if I do say so myself!! They’ve had their ups and downs over the years, but I really admire them for sticking it out, and these days their marriage is stronger than ever.

Sometimes I feel really terrified about the prospect of getting married because I don’t want to fail. Two years ago I was a part of four different weddings, and since then half of them have ended in divorce… there’s that 50% divorce rate you're always reading about, I guess. Statistics like that, especially when they hit so close to home, just make me feel slightly wary about the whole situation. Almost like… why even bother if your chances of making it are so slim?

But then I look at my parents and the life and family that they have built together, and I think that maybe someday I can make it work, too. Here’s hoping…

Congratulations, Mom & Dad, on 31 fantastic years together!!

Are your parents still married? What are your opinions on marriage in general?

8 comments:

Stevie said...

My parents divorced when I was 7. My dad left my mom for his old high school sweetheart (with whom he was cheating on my mom for a large chunk of their 17 year marriage). My mom raised us on her own after that, doing whatever she could to make things work - especially because my dad refused to pay child support and took her to court several times to try and get custody and basically drained her of any penny she had.

You would think I would have a jaded view on marriage, but I actually don't. I am really excited to get married some day and I think perhaps I value marriage even more because of what happened with my parents. Not even sure how or why that makes sense...

Anonymous said...

my mother just got married for the 4th time. i should have never settled and signed that piece of paper but i did.
just dont ever think you have to give into societial norms. don't feel weird becuase you could be common law before you are married. your right the divorce rate is 1 in 2 marriges now. and don't (and i don't think you would) let anyone pressure you to marry. i think if both people are happy with what they have and all legal papers are in order for if something happens than like tim gunn would say "make it work".
JENNY

SarahBeth said...

Stevie - That totally makes sense, and I think it's wonderful that you still have such a positive attitude in spite of your experiences. I need to get some of that same optimism!

Jenny - Love the Tim Gunn quote! Seriously though, I'm thinking at this rate I probably WILL have a common law marriage before I have a wedding... but you're right, that's still much better than rushing things before you are ready. :-)

Katie Winters said...

congrats to your parents sarah, that's awesome! marriage is definitely a lot of work and every day is a new challenge. i'm still very happily married (three years in october) to my hubby. we work really hard to keep our marriage healthy.

i was so that girl that just wanted to have a wedding and kids, so i was constantly looking for mr. right and never stopped to really work on myself. thank goodness i did stop looking and focused, because that's exactly when i met jesse. one of the exciting and different things about us is how we met, got engaged, moved in together and got married within 14 months. always follow your heart, it's so silly to say this - but you will know when you are both ready:)

*Amy Leigh* said...

Oh my goodness! I thought you just decided to stop blogging (like me! HAHA) since you no longer showed up in my reader!!! I am trying to blog more, starting today and it looks like I have some major catching up to do on your part!!!

My parents are still married, just celebrated 34 years on the 17th, I love being married. We lived together before we were married but there was a different "coziness" that appeared when we tied the knot. It wasn't like I ever thought he would leave, I think it was just the public expression of actually saying our vows, I guess it just felt like he was doing it in front of my family and friends, he was making a promise to everyone there too...I just love it. And I love being a parent even more!

SarahBeth said...

Katie - Congrats on three years in October! You and Jesse seem to have a wonderful and very healthy relationship, but it's nice to hear that you work at it. I think too many people think that marriage is just easy, and don't realize that it's actually a lot of work, every single day. But that's what makes it worth it, right?! :-)

Amy Leigh - Good to hear from you again! When I switched my URL I lost a lot of settings and stuff, and I was afraid of losing some of my readers. And, like you, I've kind of taken a blogging hiatus, but I'm back at it now! It's interesting how you say that things changed a little bit after you got married, because I've always wondered about that. Since my boyfriend and I are already happily living together I sometimes wonder "what's the point?" in regards to getting married. But in a lot of respects I think that it can and does change things for the better. So here's hoping I'll make it down that aisle someday! ;-)

Carrie said...

My parents are still married, not sure how long. 30 years maybe?

I have been married for 2 years. I don't "believe" in divorce because I am a Christian. There are biblical exceptions, but on the whole I know I will never divorce. Going into a marriage without the option of divorce also motivates you to be really, really sure that this is the right guy.

I honestly don't know how people can get married knowing they might divorce, why get married then?

Anonymous said...

hey sarah, i came to your blog page in HOPES to read on your trip to Europe lol but started reading your older blogs. Marriage is scary but you just have to be strong and if you are determined to make it work and you are with a person who is trustworthy you will be fine!! my parents divorced, but my grandparents and great grandparents were together 50 plus years and my great great grandparents, lol.. we also just went to dustin's grandparent's 50th anni party a few weeks ago. I would love to make it to a 50th anniversary with Dustin!! I'm sure you and Stew will be there too! love ya!! BrookeSiskey