Actions Speak Louder Than Words

I know that no one is perfect. I have never claimed to be. I procrastinate writing thank you notes. I forget to return phone calls. I take too long returning emails. But I still feel as though I try very hard to be the best friend, sister, girlfriend, niece, daughter and granddaughter that I can be. It gets frustrating when some of the people you care about the most don’t seem to feel the same way in return.

I have found that what people say and what they actually do can often be polar opposites. After the events of the past few days, I have taken to heart the advice my best friend Cailin has given me over and over again. Actions speak louder than words. It doesn’t matter how many promises someone makes, when it comes down to it, their actions backing up those promises are what really matters. A person can talk until they’re blue in the face about how much they love and care about you, but the time and energy they take to show you are the most important.

My dad hasn’t told me he loves me in more years than I can count. But when our family had a crisis, my dad drove two and a half hours to take me to dinner, just to ask, “Are you okay? Because if you’re not okay, I will fix it.” I know my dad loves me. He shows me every time he remembers what kind of beer I like and keeps it in the fridge for when I come home. Every time he fills my car up with gas because he knows I hate to do it myself. Every time he sits down to do a puzzle with me at Christmas.

I have a few very close girlfriends, who are all very important to me. I work very hard to maintain those friendships. Friendships are like any relationship. They take time and energy, and they’re not always fun and games. Sometimes they are work. When I had to leave work sobbing this past Friday, my friend Lacey called me about five times to see if there was anything she could do to help. She has sat and listened to me rant about the same things over and over again for months, because she understands that I need to talk and cry to process the issues. She has never brushed me off, never made me feel as though my feelings were not valid. She listened, let me cry on her shoulder, and continued to tell me that everything would be ok.

Another friend who was not only aware of how hysterical I was that afternoon, but witnessed it for herself, never called to check on me. We had specific plans to hang out on Saturday night. She did not return my phone message that morning. Nothing. She did not return my phone message that evening. Nothing. She never called to cancel. Nothing. The last time I spoke to her I was sobbing. Still, nothing. I don’t care what is going on in my life, when I have a friend in need, I am there, no questions asked. Even if I don’t agree with the reason why they are unhappy.

My mother heard how upset I was, so she left work, got in her car, and ran to my side. I have always believed in the sort of unconditional love that comes from family members. Now I realize that love is not an expectation, but something that is earned. Betrayal can come in many forms, but I think it is the most painful when it comes from someone you had learned was to be trusted unconditionally.

I have experienced too many broken promises. What I have learned is to value the people who have proved themselves, and to try harder to prove myself to the people that matter to me. To not abandon people in their time of need, no matter what the circumstances. To keep my word, to make the phone call, send the email, make the effort. Talk is cheap, but someone’s actions can truly make or break another person’s day. My goal is to always keep this in mind. I will strive to treat others the way I want to be treated. And I will surround myself only with people who truly enrich my life and make me happy. I am going to take action. I will be happy. I promise.