It's a Beautiful Day!

Well, it’s not really so beautiful today, considering the drizzle outside, consistent with a typical May afternoon in Washington state. However, as of right now I couldn’t care less what the weather is going to be like for the rest of the summer. It could rain every single day for all I care, because I have just gotten FABULOUS news… In less than a month, I will be getting a new desk – WITH A WINDOW!

But let me back up a second and introduce you to my world…

I spend eight hours a day, five days a week at a tiny desk in a tiny cubicle in a huge room packed with countless similar cubicles in a giant building filled with floors of identical cubicles. It’s like spending the majority of your life in a honeycomb. Mine measures roughly six feet by eight feet (in a generous estimate). And I actually have what’s called a “large” cubicle by some.

According to the dictionary definition, “a cubicle desk is a partially enclosed workspace, separated from neighboring workspaces by partitions, generally five to six feet high. It is partially or entirely open on one side to allow access. Horizontal work surfaces are usually suspended from the partitions, as is shelving, overhead storage, and other amenities.” Amenities?? What is this, a freaking hotel? Let me tell you a little bit about my cubicle, or the dark cave I like to call hell.

I do not have a wall that provides privacy from my nearest neighbor, and therefore I spend many hours each day listening to her argue on the phone with her husband. I swear, if they fight one more time about whether they’re going to have broccoli for dinner or not, I am going to clock her in the head with my Swingline stapler.

The noise in this area of the building is horrible. I happen to be right outside a conference room that seems to be the designated party area for people who apparently have nothing job-related to do each Friday morning. What they are always celebrating about, I will never know, but it’s not pleasant when I have to scream through the phone to my customers that I will call them back whenever my obnoxious co-workers decide to shut the hell up. They better watch out for a Swingline in the back of the head as well.

Not only that, but my cubicle has been chosen as the storage space for my entire department. Stacks of old newspapers combined with poor air circulation create a constantly returning film of dust. So when I say I’m allergic to my desk, I mean it. My co-workers don’t even bother to say “bless you” anymore.

And here’s the worst part of all. In the winter months I arrive at work in the morning in the dark, only to see stars again when I leave. This is bad enough, but my department is also located dead center in the middle of my floor. This means that no matter which direction I look, I see only the harsh glare of florescent lights, the gray of dirty carpet, dusty newspapers, and the occasional dying houseplant on top of a file cabinet. If I stand on top of my desk and stretch my neck out real far, I can see a hint of daylight down a hallway, but it’s questionable. Could be a fish tank.

When I get ready to leave for my lunch break, I have to email a co-worker on the other side of the building to see if I need to bring my umbrella. The only thing close to real sunlight I have seen in months came from a tanning bed. I feel like I live in a cave. This nocturnal way of life can’t be healthy. I sit like a zombie each day in front of my computer, watching the hours creep by, only knowing if it is day or night by the small “am” or “pm” indicator on my screen.

For a while, I thought I was destined to die in this cubicle… or go completely insane, whichever came first. And then yesterday… A ray of glorious sunshine!!!

My department is moving to the West side of the building! And since I have seniority, I have been given one of the best seats in the house!! I will receive TWO cubicles joined together, both of which have a magnificent view. Each day I will be able to look out at the Space Needle and bask in the colors of the setting sun. My boring afternoons will no longer be filled with web sites and images of nature, but a real-life picture window to the great outdoors. Needless to say, I’m a little excited!

Feel free to buy me a plant in celebration of my move.

Ah-choo!