A Uniform Solution?

I don’t remember having to abide by any sort of dress code while I was in school. The only thing that seems remotely relevant was the craze and then the banning of slap bracelets, but I think that was because you could slit your wrist with them or something. And of course I was required to wear my cheerleading outfit about three days a week during high school, but that was fun!

This past Sunday I was talking to my mom about the dress code at her school. (She teaches sixth grade at a private Catholic school in Olympia). And yes, the kiddies are required to wear uniforms. But they’re not the cute Catholic schoolgirl uniforms that most men perpetually have wet dreams about. As my mom described these horrible outfits to me, I began to feel extremely sorry for these kids.

Their uniforms begin with khaki or navy blue pants – not too bad, you might think. But these aren’t the cute, straight-legged, low-rise pants you might expect 12-year-olds to wear. No, they’re those horrible, tapered, pleated pants that you can only find at uniform stores, or maybe in some out-of-date church clothes section at JC Penny. Yuck. To top off the pants, they have to wear blue or white polo shirts… but again, nothing cute. The polo shirts MUST be tucked in. This means that girls have to wear the big baggy polos meant for boys, not the cute, cropped, fitted ones often found at the GAP. Those, apparently, are “too tight.”

According to my mom, the only way to get away with not wearing the polo shirts is to wear a school sweatshirt – an OK alternative, but not really an option in the heat June when 30 kids are stuffed into a room without air conditioning. Apparently there are some other alternatives to the uniform, including skirts and jumpers, but these are only worn by younger girls, not the “too cool for school” sixth graders.

So… can you blame these kids in the slightest for trying to jazz up their uniforms a bit? Apparently school officials can, and they have implemented rules banning almost every kind of accessory imaginable. Earrings are allowed, but only small, post ones. Bracelets are allowed, but only one, and it can’t be too flashy. Necklaces are allowed, but only if they are religious in nature. Belts are allowed, but only if they are black or brown… don’t even try that pink and green one from Aeropostale. The only thing this army of matching religious icons has left is their shoes…

But apparently the new principal is going to implement a rule regarding footwear next year, and those brightly colored Converse sneakers will be grounds for detention. Man, these kids don’t have a chance in hell at developing any individuality!

Now I must admit, school uniforms do have their upside. They create a sense of unity, and allow students to concentrate on school more than social competition and style. And really, if you think about it, the concept of waking up every morning without having the pressure of picking out a suitably trendy outfit is kind of appealing.

But last night on the news I saw that one Seattle public school is going to ban flip flops next year! I think implementing any kind of dress code at a public school is ludicrous, but seriously, FLIP FLOPS?? And the reason the school official gave for outlawing this popular footwear was even more ridiculous, something to the effect of, “We need to use high school to prepare students for the professionalism of the real world, and this sloppy way of dressing is not adequate preparation.” WTF?!?

It’s one thing for a private, Catholic school to have a uniform requirement in place, because parents make a choice and pay good money to have their children attend class in this type of environment. But I think implementing a dress code at a public school, especially as ridiculous as banning flip flops, is completely out of line. All this does is focus student attention on thinking up ways to break the dress code, when they should instead be concentrating on preparing for college.

I could even be on board with the banning of shirts that show belly buttons, and skirts that fall above the fingertips, because let’s face it, having 16-year-old girls dressed as prostitutes isn’t going to enhance anyone’s learning. And baggy clothes… sure, ban away. I saw this thing on the internet where a kid pulled about 12 different guns and knives out of his extremely baggy pants. But flip flops? Can someone please explain to me what harm these brightly colored rubber things cause?

It really is amazing what school officials are trying to control these days. What’s funny is that we wore the same stuff when we were kids… just a different style. Weren’t “Hammer pants” just as baggy? And weren’t the Kelly Kapowski-style off the shoulder shirts just as provocative?

In my opinion, different styles will come and go, but banning students from expressing their individuality is never a good thing. And forbidding them from keeping their toes cool is just plain mean. And stupid.