J is for Judgment and Jealousy

I’m not really a religious person, but since the Bible is the best-selling book of all time, I think it’s okay to give it some weight. Matthew 7:1 says, “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” Looking back, I think I’ve sometimes spent too much time judging other people and not enough time looking at myself, and how I treat people.

I think some of my judgmental attitudes may have stemmed from jealousy. Being jealous typically refers to negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety. I think I’ve definitely been guilty of not treating people the way I should simply because I am jealous of something about them. I’ve been contemplating this a lot lately, and I think I’ve often fallen victim to this in friendships.

Ever since I was a little kid who transferred schools into a different district during a very crucial time, I’ve always felt insecure about my friendships. It always seemed like everyone else had a “best friend” – an exclusive relationship formed years before that I could never really break into. This filled me with envy, anger, sadness, confusion and frustration.

Now, in retrospect, I wonder how often these self-inflicted (and maybe irrational) feelings negatively impacted my own friendships. I wonder how often I was judgmental toward the relationships of others, which in turn became detrimental to my own friendships.

But since you can’t change the past, I am trying to turn over a new leaf moving forward. I am going to accept my friends and friendships for exactly what they are: something to be very thankful for. I am going to focus on all the good things in people and let the rest fall away. Because I realize that harboring jealousy and judgments isn’t hurting anyone but myself.

So for all of my friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, etc… I’m so thankful that you are a part of my life! I hope we can get together soon.

"The way to have a friend is to be a friend." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson